The Dirt- February 20th, 2008

Oh, oh, ew. EWWWWwwwww! EWWWWWW! My eyes! Topping the list of things I never needed to see in my life- The Gene Simmon Sex Tape. The former KISS bassist reportedly made the tape while out schlepping for Canadian energy drink company, Frank's Energy Drink. The only thing is... the blonde in the video is not his long time baby-momma, Saskatoon's Shannon Tweed.

It's this chick, Elsa. Nice career goals, P.S. The video is only available online at www.genessecret.com and you have to buy it. No thanks, I can stab my eyes with scissors for free.

Looking at the still images, I can't tell if it's really him or not. Maybe a publicity stunt? Still, yuck.

-Lindsay Lohan's mom is defending her daughter's nude Marilyn Monroe photo shoot.

Dina Lohan says it was very tastefully done and she wouldn't have sent her other daughter, who's 14, to the set if the shoot was in bad taste.

All I know is there were a lot of freckles. Nicole Kidman, give this girl some sun safety tips!

-Paris Hilton has reportedly been banned from Sunday's Oscars.

She already bought her dress and everything... Parasite was reportedly in tears when she found out she was blacklisted because of her bad reputation, since she hoped she would be able to network with film executives.

Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays? Networking?