MTV VMA's : How To Lose All Credibility In One Night

So, last night I watched the MTV VMA's. I then immediately felt like vomiting. That was the worst big budget, over the top piece of crap I've seen in a while. It was worse than Spiderman 3 for God sake.

All MTV is now is one giant Tiger Beat magazine put to air. Back in"Tha Day" it used to stand for something. It aired music twenty four seven. RELEVANT MUSIC!!!!!!! Now, it's full of lip-synching pop divas, undeserving Britney combacks, and no name hosts. Who the hell was the host? Some British guy with really horrible hair. It looked like he was caught in the middle of a threesome with some kind of wooly mammoth and Amy Winehouse. 

The show was promised to start off with a bang from Britney Spears. Of course, we're not gonna have her perform. I mean, she can't sing or anything. Let's just have her barely get through a skit with Jonah Hill (who was good by the way) and then we'll pretend to have the directors and producers bring her in and she'll mumble and fumble her way through and ten second speech basically saying, "I'm back y'all, Welcome to the birthday party of MTV", then lead her off as everybody looks on and goes, "WTF?". Atleast she is looking better. She's not as cheetos white trash as she was before. 

They capped the evening off with lip-synched performances by Rihanna, Christina Aguilera, THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!!!! (Who had to cast their fans. I wanted to hear MMMMMBOP!!), T.I (whoever the hell that is. No, I don't know hip hop today. Apparently that's a good thing) and many more. The only cool thing was when LL Cool J rapped for like thirty seconds. THEY CAN'T GIVE LL A FULL SONG?!?!?!?!?!

Anyway, it's an evening I'll never get back. And to think, I was gonna watch Ed Wood. DAMMIT!!!!

Chad McDonald III Jr Esquire